Stagnant Perplexity

I feel pain. Not just physical, but a sickening emotional & mental ache


That coerces me to double over in self-doubt and dismay.

I am perplexed.

Dreadfully succumbed to a world of constant uncertainty & concrete regret.

My mind is over-loaded with unnecessary thoughts & limitations that force these stress-inflicted tears to angrily swim down my face.

I am misplaced.

Not where I want to be.

My dreams they lay, right beside me pleasantly & beautifully

placidly waiting for my touch..

But I cannot reach them.

They are intangible & seem more like vivid fantasies than a feasible reality.

How can this be?
 Two years in May I accomplished that one massive, life-changing goal that I relentlessly worked for, cried for, lost sleep for….

But yet, I have attained almost Nothing since that remarkable endeavor.

They say be Patient..

but does patience equate success?

Does restless waiting guarantee my bills being paid?

I ask, Lord what should I do?

I am Exasperated & Defeated.

Exhausted with selling myself endless dreams & diligently selling myself short.