Saturday, August 7, 2010

Mystery

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I remember him so clearly, he was a beauty. He sat in the back of the room, fourth row, fourth




seat to be exact. The first day I saw him, I admired him. He was different…the other students



would engage in the classroom conversations, he would just sit in the back and write notes. He



didn’t seem to communicate with the other students…He would sit there like a mystery that is



waiting to be discovered.



I remember when I first walked into the room and  began to call the names on the roster, I made



eye contact with him as soon as his name rolled off my tongue, “Amere Rashad”… That was the



first, but far from the last time that I looked into those mysterious gray eyes. Those eyes..they’re gray



in the daytime, but seem to darken at night..Those eyes…They pierce you…they seem to look



deep into you..Beyond the outside…Those eyes…They're Hypnotizing.



Oh how I loved to call his name everyday in my African American novel class, “Amere



Rashad”…it sounds so natural coming from my lips..Amere Rashad… for the first two weeks of



class he never said more than “here” after I called his name. Then it happened. I rushed back to



my office after having lunch with my colleague, Yvette. As I struggled to force the key into the



lock I heard a deep voice … “ Excuse me, Dr. West”, for a split second I felt paralyzed..I knew



it was him…those words ran through me and stimulated me…I felt like I was a high school girl



who realized that her crush had just came and said his first words to her..I wanted to run, but I



was overjoyed at the same time. “Hello”, I turned around hoping he didn’t notice the excitement



on my face. “Yes I was wondering if I could talk to you about the paper that’s due next week”



his voice..it was a mixture of baritone that seemed to sing into my ear. The moment my eyes



locked his..my vagina began to moisten..the same eyes that I would meet every day I called his name on the roster..The same



eyes that seemed to undress me every time he would glance at me in class. The glance would



turn into a stare, I could feel him staring at me as I went about giving my lecture. I admired him



everything from his smooth caramel complexion to the way he dressed. He was different…he



had a look of importance..a look of security.



“Sure I can talk to you, come in” I was able to mumble as I fumbled to unlock the door. I



put my bag down..and looked at the time 1: 59..my African American Women in Literature



class started in one minute, but hey I would never turn down an opportunity to gaze into those



mesmerizing eyes, I thought as I closed and locked the door. I wondered if he noticed that I



nervous.  My nervousness that transformed  from excitement to arousal  to just plain  lust in less than



thirty seconds. “ Yes ma’am, I have the guidelines for the paper, but I’m confused on where I



want to go with mine" He said as he gazed at me… my eyes drifted from his eyes to his



mouth…mmm…those lips they appear so full and soft… I found myself imagining them


kissing me sensually..my lips..my neck…my breast…and all the way down until they reached



their intended destination. “Well do you know which work you’re going to do your paper on?”



I asked as his eyes locked mine. It was almost as it we were reading each others' thoughts. I



saw his lust in his glare…his eyes locked within mine…they tranquilized me…he was doing



it again…undressing me...tasting me… Unique..Unique..he whispered as I straddled him in



my chair… “ssh… we can’t make too much noise”…but it felt so good… “ Amere Rashad” I



moaned.



My coffee fell from my hands …snap…back to reality. I was so involved in my sinful thoughts



I forgot to put the coffee down… how did I not put it down when I came in? “ I’ll help



you” he went and got some paper towels and wiped my clumsiness off the floor for me. From our talk about his



paper on Toni Morrison , I learned he was from Boston, he ended up here in DC by his father



convincing him to come to Howard, his mother lives in Crofton, Capricorn, twenty two years



old. He decided to become an English major because he loves to write. His favorite rapper



is Nas, he loves all types of music. And he was performing in downtown DC that Friday at



an open mic at a club called Vogue. Ironically, Yvette had asked me to join her to the same



event. “You should come”. “Yes Dr. Nelson asked me to join her, I will definitely be there”.



I lied to Yvette and told her that I had way too much work to do to go. It was only a half lie,



my intentions were that she would end up not going at all. My planned worked, she said that she



would just stay home and do some work herself.



As I looked in my closet I tried to find the most seductive outfit that I could. I found a cute



wool skirt and a shirt that showed my bosom. I looked in the mirror and added the final touches.



Fierce! My dreads were pinned up neatly and showed the beauty of my face, my skirt showed my



curves. My heart pounded as I stood outside the club. I knew he would be surprised to find me



alone. As the speaker introduced him , my heart skipped beats, “Amere Rashad”, I have no idea



what he performed… I was too busy wanting and hoping that he would notice me afterwards



and…and whatever happens …happens.



I was sitting at the table by myself enjoying my latte five minutes or so after he



performed… “You made it” his voice…so seductive. “Yes I did, Yvette decided not to come,



but I was on this side of town, so I said why not” I lied…a bad lie. “Well im glad you came,



you look nice” he states as he takes a seat beside me and eyes my chest. “Thank you, you were



great up there!” I honestly had no idea rather he was great or he embarrassed himself up there.



We talked for hours. Though it only seemed like minutes. Our chemistry was great, from how



we acted no one would’ve guessed that he was my student who was damn near ten years younger



then me. We had a vibe, we liked the same music, same movies, same books, novelist. Oh how



I wished that he would’ve taken me right then and there in the back of that club. But we had



something greater than physical sex, we had mental sex. In less than one week, he knew my



fears, my desires, my first name, my past, my secrets. I knew his fears, his goals, his love life.



He was single, he just got out of a serious relationship and was “chillin” for the most part. He



knew that I had been single for about two years now, my last relationship left me heartbroken.



Before we knew it two hours had passed by. “So what are you getting into for the rest of the



night?” he asked. “Not sure, I really don’t have plans”. He invited me to have dinner with him



at a restaurant about a mile away. After dinner and more great convo, I ended up at his place. He



had his own spot, a nice studio apartment.



It happened. My lustful thoughts became actuality. His eyes did more than undress me…his



hands did..his lips..mmm those lips...they made love to my body from head to toe. We made



more than love…we made music and our lust sang the sinful tune..I screamed his name in



ecstasy…Amere Amere….



We spent the whole weekend together. Our affection was repeated some fifteen maybe twenty



times. Reality…



Monday… I look in the mirror and I don’t see the same Unique West who vowed to never fall



in love again. Here I was ecstatic to see my Student in class…Maybe it didn’t register the first



night I envisioned him making love to me…He is my Student I am his teacher…and here I am



trying to decide what to wear because I knew he would be watching me. I spent all Sunday night



reflecting on my weekend. I didn’t get Any Work Done!!



Monday…he wasn’t in class. I called him he didn’t answer. Tuesday…I call..no



answer…Wednesday “Amere Rashad”….absent..call..no answer. This became a pattern for the



next two weeks. Until finally his name wasn’t on the roster. I asked other faculty members had



they heard of him..No one ever had. I found myself hurt, and disappointed. Hurt that someone



who I had shared my deepest secrets with and my body with could betray me..Leave without



a sign. Disappointed that I actually felt hurt…This wasn’t supposed to happen again…I even



dropped by his apartment one day…no one there… I asked a neighbor about him… “This place



has been vacant for about two months now”..this was two weeks after our encounter. It was



as if he never existed. So here I am in love with someone who I was beginning to feel never



existed… Am I going insane? The class didn’t remember him..No one did..but me.. So here I am



lost..im left with nothing but memories of a love affair that only lasted for a weekend before my



lover dropped off the face of the earth…



I miss his lips..kissing me ever so gently…his manhood..entering my love canal..and those



eyes…Those mysterious eyes...



Sometimes I lay here and envision him caressing me…his name escapes my lips, “Amere



Rashad”…if only all fantasies could come true.

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